This         Isn't         Freedom 

Every Villain is Someone Else's Hero, every Hero also plays the villain.

There is no distinction

Independent Roleplay Blog for Steve Rogers, Captain America

Blog Established: December 8, 2012

Spangly's BOTM

This            is            Fear

Drafts down from 41 to 28 
so okay I thought I had more done than that so I’m going to see if I can’t knock out at least a dozen more before this caffeine high switches off and I can’t anymore. 



"Eh, you shove me into the wall, and I’ll probably still find some way to enjoy it. Or I’d simply wait until you were awake to get my revenge. One of the two." Being pushed into a wall by Steve sounded appealing if FDR allowed himself to think of it in an entirely different context, but he wasn’t about to share that fact with the other man.

Being calling out on checking Steve out makes his lips curl into a smirk, but he simply flops backwards onto the mattress to lay down and look up at the ceiling. It kept him from allowing himself to be tempted to stare at Steve more, but he was hoping it would simply look like he was tired. When did his self-control evaporate exactly? “I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for any such opportunity in the future,” he retorts with a laugh, dropping one hand to loosen the tight knot on his tie. “Hey, you think they have room service here? I’m hungry. Are you?” Having skipped dinner to get to the airport on time meant he was starving, and there was no way he was going to be able to fall asleep without eating at least a little.

Steve can’t prevent rising to his cheeks when he hears the undertone to FDR’s words. He knows that he doesn’t entirely mean being chucked into the wall during one of Steve’s fits due to nightmares. Steve at least  thinks  that FDR is hinting at being shoved against a wall in a much more intimate sense. He rubs a hand over his face like he think that he might be able to actually wipe away the nervousness that his red cheeks foretold. 

Steve busies himself by grabbing the menus on the side table. “It looks like no but there seems to be a ton of delivery within the area that we could use.” Steve says before he tosses the menus onto the other man’s stomach, trying not to feel how firm it was beneath the layers of clothing. “I can always eat. Perk of the serum, I’m either always hungry or I can eat anyway because my metabolism will just blow through it anyhow.” 


"Oh, of course. I forgot about those." Harry laughed.

"How on earth could you possibly forget about my dashing good looks? It’s because you’re not around me often enough is what it is. I need to come and bother you more often, I think." Steve says and he’s starting to think that wouldn’t be such an awful idea after all. Harry didn’t give off the rich person vibe that Steve had expected him to. He was actually pleasant to be around. 


"Yes, shower." Tony repeats and grins to himself, before looking over to the other, tilting his head before he sighs and the smile vanishes. "Huh. Fine. But not for long! I’m not good at this sleeping thing you know that, right."

"You just want me to join you in the shower so you can plead that you certainly are in no shape to clean yourself and need my help, huh?" Steve says leaning down on the arm rests of Tony’s chair to lightly kiss his lips. "More of that when you get your cute little rear moving." 


Bruce likes how Steve takes care of him, how he makes it easy for him to just relax into the situation and sit down with him in the car, the seat belt around him. He doesn’t really see himself as beautiful or anything, but when Steve does, it’s almost convincing him, too. He smiles softly when the other speaks and nods, this time he doesn’t change his mind in a matter of seconds. “I still want the chicken pasta, yeah.” he says quietly and reaches over to brush the knuckles of his fingers against the other’s cheek. “Thank you. For taking such good care of me.”

Steve starts the car and moves them out of the driveway and back onto the streets. He leans into Bruce’s touch and smiles. “It’s my job to take care of you. You’re the love of my life. I love you and that means I’m supposed to give you everything that I can.” Steve says back as he casts a quick glance at Bruce before he adverts his eyes back to the street. “Chicken pasta it is.” 


*pees on*





"I thought as a professor you’d be a lot more sophisticated. I.. Is this a side effect of the medication you’re currently on?" 


"Then it is clear that you’re going to do whatever you bloody well want to and I haven’t a clue why you’re asking me what I want, anyway.” Charles sat up and gave the coffee table at his knees a kick toward the other man. “I can’t! I don’t have my powers. I don’t want them!” 

It was infuriating. He ran his hands over his face. “You know nothing about me. You know nothing of my wounds, Captain. Do not presume to understand my life. I am simply living as dear old Father and Mum would’ve had me live.” Well- no, that wasn’t true. Mother, perhaps. But his father would never have allowed him to give up his powers. They were too valuable. 'The next step in evolution, Charlie!' 

He felt sick at the very memory.

"That’s like me saying that I no longer want the serum, it’s a part of me. Though, I understand you never volunteered for your powers so maybe it’s not the best comparison but you are a good man. You’re better than this." Steve says, startling when Charles kicks the table towards him. This wasn’t like the man he’d read about. Seeing Charles like this was wounding and he didn’t know any way to change it. Sometimes there are people who don’t want to be saved. Steve knows this but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt when you try and you can’t win. 

"The world needs you. The mutants need you, Charles. You gave people who thought they were alone who were rejected by society and their families. You gave them a home here at your school.” Steve all but shouts. “Where do any of them go now? There are mutants torturing themselves trying to cut off wings they were born with, trying to hide powers that they haven’t been taught how to handle, scared and alone with no one to turn to, you were their hope.

tired|| open


Phil suppressed a sigh. So it seemed even his death wasn’t enough to keep them together for more than one battle. Oh well, at least the world hadn’t been taken over by a crazy Asgardian.

His head jerked up at the Captain’s request. “Join-” His eyes widened. “As in join my team?” Having his childhood hero on his little team of agents? 

"O-of course! We can use all the help we can get."

"Well I did mean your table here but I didn’t realize you had a team of agents." Steve says as he settles across from Phil at the booth. "Do you need help? I certainly owe you one, really the whole team owes you one but to be honest, I might be the only one who would hold up on that offer. Would you like for me to join your team? I don’t really have much else to do with myself other than wait around for someone to come and kill me." 


·· Nᴏ﹐ ɪᴛ·s ᴏᴋᴀʏ﹐ Sɪʀ. I ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛ. Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏʀɢᴀɴɪsᴍ ɪs ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ sᴏᴍᴇ sᴇʟғɪsʜɴᴇss﹐ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴏ ᴅᴏᴇs ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴀᴛᴛᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇᴍsᴇʟᴠᴇs﹖ I ᴀᴍ sᴏʀʀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴠɪᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀs ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ. ·· 

He waits, tilts his head for a second and then speaks again.

·· I ᴄᴀɴ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ sɪᴍᴘʟɪғʏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪsʜ﹖ ··

"No, no, I do think I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t mean to ask you questions that are a bit outside of your realm of ability to answer. I sometimes forget that you aren’t human Jarvis." Steve explains. "You talk like a human, I’ve even heard you give Tony some attitude every once in awhile and now you look like a human so I just forget that you aren’t. You seem so real to me." 

Remember Me


Though he knows Steve Rogers is in the hospital, he even knows the room the other man is in and when the guards outside the door change, knows that Sam Wilson visits regularly and for long periods of time, he doesn’t try and visit Steve in the hospital. There would be so little chance of catching Steve in his room alone, it’s simply better to wait until he’s discharged from the hospital. Not because he has any intention of harming the other, but because he wants to have a private conversation with the blond.  

He does write a meeting place and time on a torn sheet of white paper, and leave it besides Steve’s hand when he sneaks through the window in the dead of night. There’s little doubt in his mind Steve will tell anyone else about the slip of paper, knowing the other likely wants to meet with him again as much as he does. 

Steve would never miss the way it felt to be hooked up to machines and needles jammed in his arms. He remembers the days prior to the serum when he would get sick almost constantly and occasionally they could afford to take him to the hospital and this was about the same treatment he got there. Steve could heal quickly now, it’s true but Bucky had put a few bullets in him and had quite literally beaten him half to death. So it wasn’t any wonder why Steve needed the extra help this time around.

It takes him awhile to wake up but when he does, he finds a paper in his hand that he doesn’t remember being given to him by a doctor. It has a meeting place Steve thought sounded rather Bucky-ish, considering it was the address to their old apartment. Steve wondered if it was even still there or if it had been torn down and rebuilt into a building for shops. Steve hides the paper inside of his pillow until he’s told later that day that he’s free to leave. It feels nice to finally go home and put on real clothing of his own. He almost forgets entirely that he’s meant to be meeting Bucky until the alarm he sets on his phone goes off. 

He’s nervous when he arrives on his motorcycle and doesn’t see Bucky right away. He doesn’t think that Bucky would have lured him here to kill him if he had more than enough opportunity to kill him whenever he gave him the paper in the hospital. He just wonders if Bucky decided against meeting at all. 

First Date


Bucky can’t help but shake his head a little and chuckle. “Of course, come on you big lug. Lets get you a vanilla milk shake with extra whipped cream.” hen he started toward the food stalls, tugging Steve along behind him. One of the big stuffed dogs tucked under his other arm. Steve’s excitement was infecting Bucky. He used to avoid ice-cream just because he knew Steve couldn’t have any. This would be the first time in 70 odd years he’d have any ice-cream.

There’s a definite skip in Steve’s step as they head off in pursuit of ice cream. Steve can’t help but be excited about ice cream. He hadn’t been able to have any until after the serum. It’s a surprisingly sweet treat and now Steve’s hopelessly addicted. If there is ice cream in the freezer at home then there’s an extreme problem with life. So getting to share this experience with Bucky for the first time since they’d been reunited was also exciting. He all but dragged Bucky to the milkshake stand. “What flavor do you want?” 



Bucky listened intently, following Steve’s hands as he spoke. He understood a little bit better but there was a sense of panic inside of him. He wasn’t sure if he could do this by himself. And he hated that he was so helpless in something that was supposed to be so mundane. He kept his head down as he pondered Steve’s question. Honestly, he didn’t want to be alone at all. Not even for a shower.

He looked up at Steve, a bit hesitant. It really bothered him that he was so helpless but Steve didn’t seem to mind it. He was honestly grateful for it. “Could you? Please. I don’t… the only thing I can remember is how to put together guns and to move around unseen to mark a target—”

He cut himself off with a hard swallow. He hated thinking about that, about what he had been. He knew that it wasn’t him, that he was being used but it was so hard to argue for that when he could see it form his own eyes. “I don’t think I could take care of myself.” He murmured quietly, “Not without help.”

Steve lifts up from his knees to cover Bucky’s mouth with his hand gently. Not that he doesn’t want Bucky to talk about the things he remembers doing. He does. He knows that the first step to healing is that Bucky talks about what is ailing him but instead Steve just wants to stop the panic that is bubbling out of Bucky’s lips.

Steve removes his hand after a moment to cup Bucky’s cheeks with both of his hands before placing a kiss on Bucky’s temple. “Hush,” He whispers gently, caressing Bucky’s cheeks with his thumbs. “It’s okay to need help right now. It’s okay to need help ever, Bucky. I can help you, I don’t mind. If I minded I wouldn’t have offered.” 

He gently moves his hands down to guide Bucky’s shirt over his head and off his body. He moves forward to dust soothing kisses over his forehead and cheeks. “It’s okay, Bucky.” He promises as he reaches down to unbutton Bucky’s jeans. “I have to take care of you now.” 

Grumpy Old Men


Bucky pressed a kiss to Steve’s asscheek, his fingers sliding back out then in again, finger-fucking Steve a moment before he completely removed them. He straightened up, one knee on the couch while his other leg fully extended to the floor. He circled the base of his cock with his fingers, leading himself to Steve’s entrance, pressing the head to Steve’s entrance. “You are such a good omega. I’ll give you exactly what you want.” Then slowly he started to sink himself into Steve’s wet heat.

Steve whines as Bucky slowly starts to fill him and it takes all of the willpower he has not to shove himself back and impale himself on Bucky’s dick when it’s the only means of release he has. His heats were sporadic at the best of times due to the serum, nothing came on time and he would often be hit with a spell at the most inopportune moments if he didn’t take his suppressants. Though, recently he’d stopped taking his suppressants because he knew that Bucky wanted them to try for a child once more after Steve had gotten better at going to see Lawrence even on his own. 



Steve’s nails on his back hurt a little but all it did was ignite the pleasure more. Feeling Steve hang onto him desperately, the way he moans his name, it urges him on, Wanting Steve to lose himself to the pleasure. Bucky moans Steve’s name, pressing his forehead to Steve’s shoulder as he buries himself deep inside Steve over and over. There was some odd cracking noise in the background but he ignored it, at least until he felt a drop and the bed went thudding down onto the floor.

He held onto Steve tight, pausing his thrusting to keep from accidentally pulling out. He puled back to stare down at at Steve. “I… I think we really did break the bed.” He’s breathless and soon is breaking out into laughter.

Steve gasps when the bed cracks and drops to the floor, the motion makes Bucky thrust into him a bit harder and deeper than he’s sure that Bucky had meant to and Steve yelps in surprise and pain. A gasp as he settles from the adrenaline rush having a dick shoved violently in you creates and looks up at his partner.

"Okay, I’ll take that whole ‘gentle love making’ you were offering earlier now because I’m pretty sure I just tasted your dick in my throat." Steve says, eyes still wide from surprise. "I can’t believe we actually broke the bed." He looks down at the bed and back up at his partner. "Nice to see you again too."