This         Isn't         Freedom 

Every Villain is Someone Else's Hero, every Hero also plays the villain.

There is no distinction

Independent Roleplay Blog for Steve Rogers, Captain America

Blog Established: December 8, 2012

Spangly's BOTM

This            is            Fear

Okay, I’ve got to rest a LITTLE before I go to my orientation for my third job today. (don’t worry guys, I’m likely dropping Kohl’s so I’ll still be around. I’d rather set myself on fire than work three jobs or continue with kohls any longer than I have to) Here are all the replies I have in drafts currently. I have no idea when I’ll actually be back today because after orientation he wants me to train a little with the girl I will be replacing. So, yeah, I’ll be around when I’m around but I’m going to tell him that I’m scheduled at the theater or something for tomorrow so I get at least one actual day off this week before I go insane. 

Draft total currently: 23


     Her eyebrows shoot up with the question, as if absolutely shocked that he had actually asked that, eyes vaguely widened. Shoulders lift into a jerky shrug as Mollie scoots to the further end of the table she was sitting on as he picked it up on the paper, nose curled up in distaste. “Sure, sure, take it outside. Although seeing how it is just… chilling there and I’m hiding on a table, I think you might be wrong about who’s more afraid here.”

He tosses the spider outside where it’ll hopefully scamper off and refuse to return before he comes back inside to set the cup and paper down on the table. “There you go, ma’am, crisis averted. You’re safe.” He says with a teasing smile. “My name is Steve, by the way.” And it’s kind of nice that she at least doesn’t seem to immediately recognize him.



"Compared to how angry I am with myself, I’ve really only been directing mild irritation at you… Tomorrow marks the fifteenth anniversary of the day I watched the only mother figure I ever knew bleed out in front of my eyes."


He stumbles a bit because he’s not sure what one can say to that. “I’m so sorry.” Seems like the best option so that’s what he goes with. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to talk about it but maybe never talking about it is what makes her so upset. “How did… do you want to talk about it?” 

captainspangly started following you.


The light in Steve’s smile drew Arthur to him, like a moth to a flame. Steve was the type of person every person in dreamsharing knew they couldn’t have, or at least shouldn’t. People that went into others dreams and stole didn’t deserve people like Steve. Arthur had almost been afraid the first time Steve had taken his hand, sure all the tainted past of crime would wash off on the other’s skin. But it hadn’t, and Arthur had actually enjoyed himself on their sudden date. It was something the Point man could grow use too, which was dangerous. Yet Arthur couldn’t stop himself from smiling softly, going up to Steve and slowly touching his hand. He loosely laced their fingers together, feeling warm and light and everything that was wonderful. 

"Don’t laugh," Arthur threatened, narrowing his eyes at the other man in warning. There was no venom, though, only a playful teasing that others rarely saw. "Ice cream. Vanilla, specifically. Yes, it’s boring and bland, like my personality or whatever. I’ve heard it before, but it’s what I like. The classics are best." 


Steve wasn’t expecting this, wasn’t expecting to find Arthur’s fingers laced with his own. That was the last thing that he had been expecting. He thought all the displays of affection would have to be initiated himself so when Arthur does this all on his own, Steve’s shocked into silence for a moment. He strokes his thumb across the back of Arthur’s hand. He can’t even think of laughing at Arthur’s admission of his favorite dessert even if it’s characteristically plain of him. 

"It’s not really bland, it’s still very sweet and it’s kind of like an easel because you can always put toppings on it to make it different." Steve says in the most artistic way that he could. "Back in my day we didn’t have a million flavors like they do now so that’s not bland to me at all." 



He wasn’t used to this.  The world was confusing enough as it was but now everything he’d ever known was pulled from underneath him.  No longer was he told he was a weapon but it appeared this man was his…owner?

He claimed to be his father but that made no sense since he’d always been told weapons had no parents.

The tall man came into the room and he just looked up at him silently.  Crayons had been a luxury he only got when he was behaving so having been set in front of paper and crayons he’d drawn all over them. He didn’t know when they’d be taken from him after all. The scenarios depicted in his drawings probably would be disturbing to any other person but he didn’t know any better.

The child’s drawings were a bit disturbing and they made something in Steve’s stomach rile up in rage, his stomach in knots because these were likely things that were done to this child. A child that was biologically his. Steve was starting to regret the serum entirely. If he ever had the opportunity to go back in time he’d smash all the vials and die young like he was probably meant to. This is what people get for playing god.

Steve kneels down next to the child so he’s not talking over her like the people she had grown up with thus far had likely done. “Are you hungry?” He asks. Something little for now. If he can get some food in her they can discuss a name for her. He wants to let her pick her own. 



He echoed Steve’s laugh, cocking his head to the side a little.  ”Níl mé gleoite, tá mé ghaiscíoch.”  Shane grinned, unable to keep a straight face saying that.  

"Tá tú an laoch de gleoite. seachadadh binneas." Steve says with a smile. Shane really was too precious right now. 


Tony smiles a little nervously, because what’s being offered is absolutely exactly what he wants, what he needs.  But, Tony doesn’t get that.  He knows that there’s no deception from Steve.  Steve is good and sweet and genuine and Tony doesn’t think he’d ever suspect the man of anything dubious, but the universe just doesn’t give Tony what he wants [what an arrogant, bitter part of himself says he deserves for everything he does].  Chances are something is going to go horribly wrong.  He’s going to drive Steve away with his nightmares, or worse, he won’t and Steve will stay by his side no matter that Tony keeps him up all night or nearly kills him with the suit because Steve is stubborn and too kind.  Far too kind.

But, Tony is just lonely enough, wants Steve enough to take what he gets for however long he gets it, until Steve is gone or Tony has to send him away for his own good.  And if, by some rare chance, he does help Steve, too..

"-I… I dream about suffocating," Tony says, because that’s fair.  Steve told him his nightmares and Tony can share his.  They’re friends, if tentative ones, and something else now, too, "staring out at stars that aren’t ours, the suit barely holding together while the vacuum tries to tear me apart from the inside- and… being pinned down, the city, my city torn to piece around me- those things raining down on us, defying physics and natural laws- and, God, drowning, but that’s an old one, I’m used to that one.  So- so, I work instead.  I do what I know.  I build the suits and I make arrows for Clint and better armoring for you, lethal things for Natasha.. and I don’t even ask Thor to see Mjolnir, to study it, because it’s fucking magic and I don’t get magic, my head can’t-“

Oh, no, now he’s gotten started and now he can’t stop and he’s breathing too quickly and his eyes aren’t focusing and he’s seeing all the things he’s describing and he’s stupid, so stupid, he shouldn’t have said all those things and now his fingers twist in Steve’s shirt and he needs it all the just stop and leave him alone so he kisses Steve with a desperation that he didn’t even know he could posses. 

Steve could handle himself if Tony did manage to set a suit on him in his sleep. Well, for the most part as long as he could wake Tony before the suit blew a hole in his chest, that is. Steve’s not afraid of that though. Steve’s willing to try it even knowing that it happened once when Tony was sleeping beside Pepper because he thinks that Tony’s mind might feel more at ease while Steve sleeps beside him. And if it isn’t? Well, they’d hit that bump when they hit it. 

Steve adjusts them when Tony starts to panic, Tony would fit much more snugly into Steve’s lap anyhow. “Hey, hey,” Steve whispers soothingly, all but dragging Tony into his lap. “Maybe it’s better that we don’t talk about your nightmares for right now? It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re safe, no one strangling you or drowning you. I’m right here and nothing is going t-“ 

He’s being kissed then and it cuts off all conversation and attempts at soothing Tony. Maybe this was the way that Tony wants to be soothed. Steve kisses him back with a gentling persuasion, tongue encouraging Tony’s to slow down, hands soothing up and down Tony’s sides. 


"Please. I’m a huge pain in the ass; Pepper knows it, you know it, I know it, hell, I’m pretty sure even the president knows it." Nina shrugs. "What am I the seventh day? A fuckin’ delight or something? Or is that just like when I’ve been up all night in the labs or out partying or whatever, and sleep the entire next day, and so I’m not trouble simply because I’m unconscious?" Nina frowns at Steve’s logic, forehead creasing as numbers and figures run through her mind. "I feel like me fucking and spanking you only takes up like, a third of the time. I think I’m either almost dying, blowing stuff up or getting dressed up most of the time, and none of those are particularly pleasant." She wraps her arms around his waist, sighing into his neck. "You know what I mean, right?" she asks tentatively, fingers wrapping into his shirt. "I just…I can’t say it, but that’s what I mean."

"To be perfectly fair, the president probably knows it even more than any of the rest of us do. You’re a huge pain in his ass." Steve teases. He understands why she’s fussing at him and trying to prove his words false but it doesn’t make it hurt any less that she doesn’t believe him.

"You.. you’re not just sex to me, Antonia Stark. You haven’t ever been. I care about you for far more than what you do for me in the bedroom. You’re not just something I get to get laid every once in awhile, you’re so much more than that and you always have been.” 

He’s frustrated but he still wraps his arms around her in return as well. “I do know what you mean. And maybe you are a pain in my hamburger ass.” Steve says. “But you’re my favorite meatball, okay? So just believe me when I tell you that you’re worth it.” 


Rolling his eyes, Bucky had to try his hardest to hold back a snort of laughter, even though he was still struggling with the thoughts running through his head. A sigh leaving his lips, he allowed himself to step closer, all but crowding Steve against the wall of the shower. “How many times will we have this argument about you staying warm?”  He left it at that, arms bracketing the small body, holding him against the wall.

At the tone of Steve’s replied words, though, Bucky knew he said something wrong. He didn’t mean it in the sense that Steve probably thought he meant it… would it be so bad if he were to clear the air; to tell the honest to god truth? Swallowing, he left one hand pressed to the tile beside Steve’s head, the other moving to cup the blond’s cheek lightly. “What I… what I meant was it ain’t proper when one of the fella’s… when one of them might not think of their friend in a purely friendly way…”

Steve’s lucky mostly that his body can’t spare the blood for it to rush elsewhere so that his body tells Bucky exactly the effect he has over Steve when he pushes in so closely, cornering Steve again the wall of the shower, giving him no room to move and talking at him in an authoritative tone. “And how many times do I have to tell you that you deserves to be warm and clean too?” He says pushing out his chest and trying desperately to make himself taller. 

He’s surprised when Bucky cups his cheek and he finds himself wondering if Bucky’s going to kiss him and he surprises himself with how much he wants that. “Well…” Steve begins to stammer, leaning into the hand at his cheek. “No.. No one has to know about it but us. Is it even more improper if.. if both of the fella don’t think of their friend in a purely friendly way?” 


"I love it when you say my name like that, baby," Nina replies teasingly, pressing the cock back in with the same excruciatingly slow pace she used to pull out with. She pulls a hand back, brings it down against his ass and revels in the sharp crack that results. She knows what he wants, but she doesn’t plan on giving it to him until Steve’s a writhing, begging mess. "What do you want, Steve?" Nina asks after a long, long moment of slowly pushing her hips forward until she’s fully seated inside him and her hips are very nearly touching his ass. She reels her hand back once more, this time choosing to swat closer to the skin of his thighs than his actual ass. "Tell me what you want, and I might give it to you."

Steve releases a whine as she starts to press back into him. She’s moving so ungodly slow and he’s starting to regret that he’s told her to slow down in the first place even though at the time it was too much. He cries out at the swat because he’s fairly certain that she purposely struck such a sensitive swath of skin. He fidgets as the pain leaves his skin tingling afterwards. “Faster.. I want faster.” Steve whimpered and he’s starting to submit for her, hard. She’s breaking him and he equally hates and loves it. 


Bryce doesn’t protest the way Steve handles him, as if he’s precious and fragile, actually worth something. And maybe the undercurrent of normally present anxiety that lingered with him no matter what he was doing settled down in response to this position. He kissed Steve back, just relaxing and letting go, enjoying the moment.

Steve follows Bryce down to the bed as he starts to release the other from his clothing. He follows each new inch of skin with his mouth, kissing down Bryce’s chest to his abdomen. He shimmies the pants down Bryce’s hips slightly so he can mouth at Bryce’s hip bone, just worshiping every last centimeter of skin he can get to. “So beautiful, Bryce.” 



Clint nods lightly, leaning back then before he notices his hands starting to shake more, making him frown deeply and then put the bowl of soup down quickly, hoping that Steve doesn’t notice him doing it this fast. He sighs quietly and hides the twitching of his fingers from the other by pulling his legs closer to himself, the blanket more around him. “We’ll see..” he makes quietly and swallows, hoping that the pain in his throat will stop soon, but he’s definitely getting sick or.. he’s probably sick already.
"I… didn’t mean to bother you.."

Steve notices the trembling. He wonders how often people forget that he has been given extensive military training, he does know how to spot these sorts of things. “Are you shivering? Are you cold?” He doesn’t know whether the shaking is a nervous tick or if it’s a sign that Clint is growing sicker. “You aren’t bothering me, Clint, you’re never bothering me. I demanded that you let me take care of you, if anything I’m bothering you. Do you want me to turn the heat up?” 




Send me a wave thingy and my muse will impersonate yours rudely.


[ He groaned when the other clapped him on the shoulder.
           Didn’t hurt, only stings a bit. He sighs, before looking at him.

                 ❝ Is that the truth or is that a pity-play?  


[ He has mixed feelings about the topic. ‘Finding the right one’.
    He found the right one when he was still in SF.
    But had to break it off because of SHIELD.
    Now he’s been getting threats since two weeks ago.
                                                 It sounded like a man.

        ❝ I had to break it off with her because of SHIELD. She was the one.  

Steve is about to ask which part but he doesn’t want to give way to Chancelit trying to call him out on lying just by saying that. He isn’t lying about any of it. Steve does think that Chancelit is handsome and that he shouldn’t be experiencing any trouble finding a woman to make him happy

“It is absolutely not pity. Steve Rogers always tells the truth, didn’t you catch that memo? You’re very handsome, Chancelit. I am amazed that every mirror you look into doesn’t animate just to hit on you.”

When he speaks of a woman though, Steve sobers. “I’m sorry about that. It is one downside to working for a company like ours. Puts you on multiple hit lists, makes it a bit harder to keep a stable healthy relationship and you have to keep too many secrets.”